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April 17th, 2020

This year hasn't turned out quite how I expected it, which is probably the case for everyone. So much has changed in a month. I thought I would be going on a mission trip to Nepal with the Snowboarders and Skiers Discipleship Training School (SDTS). We had so many hopeful expectations, for new experiences, new ministry opportunities, and new growth within the team. New, not only for the students but also for the first-year staff team like me.

I’ve been growing a lot this year in ways I didn’t expect. Growing in my character. Growing in my dependence on God. And growing despite the unknown.

Have you ever heard the phrase, "Where you are in your Bible is where you are at in life"? It is incredible how God's timing is always so perfect. He knows how and when He needs to speak to us! I have been experiencing this first hand throughout our quarantine time. Currently, I am reading Job and it is such a timely book for this season. When I think about Job and his story, depression and loss come to mind (which is a real theme in this book ). Job lost everything he held dear and while he was in it, there were no answers or explanation to why it happened. However, while studying Job, his story has come to mean so much more.

In a day and age where the human heart eagerly desires to know everything, it can often be so hard to rest in the unknown. To not point the finger at each other or ourselves and just rest in the truth that God is already at the other side of what is happening. In Job's situation, his friends wanted to blame the sin in his life or that of his family, and Job questioned what he must have done to warrant what had happened. However, they were all far from realizing what was going on.

To be honest, the fact that the SDTS ended early sucks. This quarantine sucks. Not knowing how long it will last sucks and that’s just the cherry on top. I can’t see the end or see the why, but in this time of wondering, how do I respond?

Studying Job during this season has been both humbling and reassuring. It has reminded me that I don't have to have all the answers. That without seeking God first in a situation it will seem hopeless, and that ultimately I am not on this earth for my own glory or prosperity but for God's. This is pretty challenging to grow in.

The book of Job isn't an enjoyable read, but I am beginning to find hope and joy in knowing that my Creator is over all and above all. He does not will bad things to happen, but sometimes He allows it. It won't be till we're on the other side that we will see why. My day to day routine in life has changed. And my plans halted. But my faith and relationship with Jesus will still stand firm.

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